I don't understand me sometimes

I'm human.

I make mistakes that I sometimes cannot fix, I make decisions that I sometimes cannot explain. Sometimes my heart speaks and my head listens. Sometimes my head speaks and my heart closes its ears. I get angry. I get confused. I get lost. And hell, let's be honest: Sometimes I'm moving and don't even know exactly where I'm going. I just keep on going as long as it looks like I'm moving forward...

I've hurt some people with my decisions. Even so... I have to say that though I'm sorry that I caused them some pain, I don't regret my decisions. I can love you like hell and still let you go. At some point I think it comes down to me or you. The decision has to be made.

What makes me weak? That I care much more about the feelings of other individuals than my own? Does it make me weak that allow certain individuals to dump their grief on me even when the issue isn't my fault or has nothing to do with me? I feel that I handle blame better than any other individual. So I keep my mouth shut and let others place their weight on my shoulders and attempt to push me down when their issue is not me. I don't understand me sometimes. I don't understand how I can let an individual slide and then chastise another individual for the same thing. It's almost like some people get a pass. When I see into a person, I sometimes see something that I know I can break. I see what I know I could possibly break and never fix so I choose to give that person a pass.

I guess its a good thing that I have this ability because I cause more good than harm... in my opinion. However, it gets tiring. I'm often exhausted from fighting a battle with individuals who have no idea that they are fighting or what we are fighting about. Exhausting.