I Was Colder Than December.

I was colder than December
In the dead center of winter
Heart iced up like it had a sprain.
no longer interested in him or his games,
I was silent.
First thoughts were violent
second thoughts: Karma is a bitch. You'd better let God be yo co-pilot
so I kept quiet and remained STILL.

I let the mystery build
as his fate was sealed.
and his mouth was lying
and the rims of his eyes filled with fake tears from fake crying
and my chest heaved from restraint and sighing
while his shoulders shrugged, giving away his true emotion

Pretending to be filled with so much love and devotion,
he could care less about the feelings i had to express
or that I had given my heart, the very beat in my chest

The look that peeped from behind that mask was indifference
it said that this was the second time around and i'd be a fool to think the 3rd would b any different
That this would not be the last time where he attempted to fill me up beyond my capacity with promises unkept.
that this would not be the last time he would creep out on me while i slept
thinking that this love was safe.

No longer confused I had to shut him down,
somewhere in between his words the truth had been found.
I could no longer live a lie when the truth was so clear.
he had everything he needed but what he wanted wasn't here.

It ain't where he's at its where he wants to be,
and obviously it wasn't with me,
so like a caged bird I released him into the wild,
while he looked confused, I smiled.

I was colder than December,
in the dead center of winter.
Heart iced up like it had a sprain
and I was free, done playing his game.