Thought Provoking questions

My head is buzzing with all the questions and all of the doubts... should I, will I, can I and those dog gone "what ifs". If I had a dollar for everytime I had a "what if" thought I wouldn't even use the internet. I would BE the internet lol. So here goes...


What if I let you in?
Would you let me have my way with you or pretend that we are just friends and those feelings that you are feeling in your chest are just from a mild cardiac arrest and not too serious?

Would you pretend to love me only so you could Slide down in between my knees and make me think that I was lucky.

Should I think that just because I let you in between my thighs that now we have some sort of relationship beyond what is warm and wet?

Should I elude myself into thinking that I am the only one even though the other chick's bed ain't even cold yet?

See... these are just...thought provoking questions...

People who fear questions have no problem with accepting lies and/or telling them. They are prone to believe what ever just so they won't be bothered with a "question" and are more apt to do things on a whim because they would rather not exercise their noodle and pretend that the answer lies in front of them...

These people missed the memo that the world is not black and white, cut and dry. There are more crayons in the crayon box than the colors they are always drawing and outlining with.

So how hard is it to just stretch your mental capacity and think beyond the measure of someone's penis and someone's hips. To see beyond someone's curves and someone's lips?

How hard can it be to bypass that inital thought and ask what a person is really about instead of your first thoughts settling somewhere south of up there?

I mean...these are just thought provoking questions.

*shrugs*

Random (Change Up)

I told you I'd never change up/ said I'd be the same with and without the make up but I lied/AShamed to say that I'm nowhere near as brave as i pretend to be especially when my hiding places are taken/ and first off, i just wanna apologize for fakin/but in my mind i was living true/cuz there was no way in hell that my body was gonna allow me to admit any of the shit i'm really feeling to you. Tell you anything about what's goin on in my dome/ so i set myself apart from the others cuz can't nobody smell your fear when you're alone...

and i told u i'd never change up...

confidence is the key, so i put it on everymorning before i leave/ and i cover up all the insecurities/ cuz insecurities are not to be walked around with for others to see/ its human nature to prey on the weak/ i refuse to be preyed on or do the preying/But I will be myself and do the slaying...and it is what it is... I know I said I'd never change up but life is too short to make up/ and I'm still waiting to wake up before life passes me by....

God Make me a soldier

Every night I pray to God that he make me a soldier/cuz I feel that I'm too sensitive and the world is getting colder/ I ask him to he make me able to accept the things that I cannot change/ I ask that he guide me in his footsteps and pray that I never get lost and always honor his name/ I say that I know get distracted with these worldly things/money makes the world go around and these black men that I sometimes catch myself looking at are supposed to be kings/ some fall short of being in your likeness/ and I catch myself slippn because I like this/ So I say God, I know that I'm not perfect and that I make mistakes but if in some way I'll get closer to you then that's a risk I'll take. God make me a soldier/ I'm ready for the battles/ i'm ready for the war/ This stuff I can handle and your calls i can no longer ignore. So God make me a soldier/ walk beside me when friends say they will and don't/ be my friend when the fakes won't/ and hold me when I'm scared like these deceivers say they will/be understanding when wrong is what i'm doing still/ God make me a soldier cuz the world is getting colder/ and i am getting older/and you I can no longer ignore.

I told him if this is real then we'll fly together but since we're both all in then if its not we'll crash and fall together...

Our relationship is like a rising phoenix, after we've burned and think that its over, a new one rises out of the ash and we're brand new again, constantly eluding the fact that we can't be friends but try it anyway only to end up drifting in two different directions simply co-existing like enemies breathing the same air.. and then back to one another because we're drawn together like planets when they align, like cheese and crackers we realize that WE belong together. If it's real then we'll fly together but since we're both all in then if its not we'll crash and fall together

So I had the dream...

...the same dreams that I love to have but I hate at the same time because they mean that something is coming. Something much bigger than me and something I cannot control.

Learning to deal with change has never been my strong point. I don't want things to stay the same but dramatic and traumatic changes are too much. Death, for instance is a traumatic and dramatic change. I don't fall apart. I simply acknowledge thatit happened, make jokes about it and put it aside for a rainy day. People come and people go. I try not to become affected when I know that there is a much better place than here... it all hurts just the same...

Dear God...

I'm beating on your floors,
screaming your name down here and hoping that you hear me in the heavens because... I need you. You see the storm that's weathering near by and as I grab my umbrella and raincoat I know that you have the power to change and hold together all things. The last thing I want to do is prevent your will from being done, but Lord, you know how much I can take... now I know that I have had this dream for a reason and I'm sure tht it was your doing...be that as it may I still feel unprepared. Now I know not to pray for patience because that's a gift you don't give. I do pray to you for direction. Guide me...

-Thank you.