...the same dreams that I love to have but I hate at the same time because they mean that something is coming. Something much bigger than me and something I cannot control.
Learning to deal with change has never been my strong point. I don't want things to stay the same but dramatic and traumatic changes are too much. Death, for instance is a traumatic and dramatic change. I don't fall apart. I simply acknowledge thatit happened, make jokes about it and put it aside for a rainy day. People come and people go. I try not to become affected when I know that there is a much better place than here... it all hurts just the same...
Dear God...
I'm beating on your floors,
screaming your name down here and hoping that you hear me in the heavens because... I need you. You see the storm that's weathering near by and as I grab my umbrella and raincoat I know that you have the power to change and hold together all things. The last thing I want to do is prevent your will from being done, but Lord, you know how much I can take... now I know that I have had this dream for a reason and I'm sure tht it was your doing...be that as it may I still feel unprepared. Now I know not to pray for patience because that's a gift you don't give. I do pray to you for direction. Guide me...
-Thank you.
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