I’ve got this thing with brown skin. I’m infatuated, moved by it, even in love with it. Not to say there is anything wrong with any other skin, but its something about the shades of brown skin that do something to me.
When I am walking through a mall and a mocha-toned brother walks by me with a high yellow brother and a chocolate colored man on the side, i’m intrigued. The way their colors blend against life’s background, making it the canvas and them the picture, does something to me.
When a straight or gay brown couple two different tones or even the same complexion walks in front of me, its beautiful… i don’t know what it is with me and brown skin!
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Just To Fit In
I don’t care nothin about fitting in. That mess is for the people who have lost or can’t find themselves. I haven’t been lost in a long time and I found me a long time ago.
Yea, sometimes my decisions leave me by myself and believe it or not, I am completely okay with that. I figure I was born by myself and leaving this earth the same way isn’t a problem. I just sit back and observe people of today. Everybody in such a rush to be like somebody else. shrugs I figure if something that I want to do is just like what someone else is doing… that’s cool too because I wanted to do it. If not, well, let’s just say I have no problem standing with my back to a crowd
Yea, sometimes my decisions leave me by myself and believe it or not, I am completely okay with that. I figure I was born by myself and leaving this earth the same way isn’t a problem. I just sit back and observe people of today. Everybody in such a rush to be like somebody else. shrugs I figure if something that I want to do is just like what someone else is doing… that’s cool too because I wanted to do it. If not, well, let’s just say I have no problem standing with my back to a crowd
I Wait
I wait
Everyday waiting on him to shower me with the love that I deserve
Realize that I am a woman and even though I’ve got hills more than curves
I’m worth it
This beat in my chest is bumping like a bass
heart PLEASE be still as I look at his face
and into his eyes.
Trying to replace that smile in my heart with a scowl
because this is dangerous.
unexplored territory and his smile took all of my defenses
My face- uncamouflaged amd i’ve lost my senses
endless
thoughts of you loving me
and me being that she that you so often talk about…
I wait…
anticipating the harsh realities of rejection
knowing that i’m about to learn my lesson
and i still cannot find the strength to pull back
Everyday waiting on him to shower me with the love that I deserve
Realize that I am a woman and even though I’ve got hills more than curves
I’m worth it
This beat in my chest is bumping like a bass
heart PLEASE be still as I look at his face
and into his eyes.
Trying to replace that smile in my heart with a scowl
because this is dangerous.
unexplored territory and his smile took all of my defenses
My face- uncamouflaged amd i’ve lost my senses
endless
thoughts of you loving me
and me being that she that you so often talk about…
I wait…
anticipating the harsh realities of rejection
knowing that i’m about to learn my lesson
and i still cannot find the strength to pull back
Pardon Me 2010
Pardon me, For not casting my heart to the first man who promised me unconditional love and support when I felt he was selling me a dream. When i didn’t open my legs to invite in something I wasn’t so sure about and knew it wasn’t what it seemed.
Pardon me, For opting for a truth and refusing the fairytale and the lie Pessimistic maybe but love can be sadistic if u aren’t careful. One minute ur whole and the next u can be gutless and slit to ur navel.#just sayin
Pardon me… for being slightly turned off by the flock of men who hide their true colors and pretend to be saints and saviors… To me and all our neighbors
Pardon me for being just a little hesitant when I try to show u that I am a woman first and then a lady And u still try to treat me as if I’m ur bitch or ur hoe…
So yeah I’m a bit hesitant. Mankind treats me like a robot that is not yet ready for an unexcepting world- trying to turn me into something that I’m not or blend me in…
Pardon me, For opting for a truth and refusing the fairytale and the lie Pessimistic maybe but love can be sadistic if u aren’t careful. One minute ur whole and the next u can be gutless and slit to ur navel.#just sayin
Pardon me… for being slightly turned off by the flock of men who hide their true colors and pretend to be saints and saviors… To me and all our neighbors
Pardon me for being just a little hesitant when I try to show u that I am a woman first and then a lady And u still try to treat me as if I’m ur bitch or ur hoe…
So yeah I’m a bit hesitant. Mankind treats me like a robot that is not yet ready for an unexcepting world- trying to turn me into something that I’m not or blend me in…
Untitled
The fussing and fighting
Pretending not to be mad
Moving on and pretending it doesn’t hurt
Feelings of revenge
unable to control the tears
the he said, she said….
I don’t want any of that. What I do want…
is the passion, the disagreements that end in understanding or at least compromise.
The I hate you but I love you so much at the same time that I’m not going anywhere.
That i can deal with.
Pretending not to be mad
Moving on and pretending it doesn’t hurt
Feelings of revenge
unable to control the tears
the he said, she said….
I don’t want any of that. What I do want…
is the passion, the disagreements that end in understanding or at least compromise.
The I hate you but I love you so much at the same time that I’m not going anywhere.
That i can deal with.
I Am
The girl who doesn’t cry at funerals usually, but days before will do quick 60 second cries in bathrooms,closets, and even as I walk away from you and manages to pull on a blank face by the time I’ve turned around.
The girl who will openly cry at weddings when I know that the two people are doing the most precious and sacred thing but probably have no idea how intense and serious it is to promise ur love in front of God.
The girl who laughs when things get awkward.
The girl who makes jokes just to see someone smile even if I’m not smiling on the inside.
The girl who lives in a laugh from someone elses throat.
The girl who gets her feelings hurt and skips from sad to pissed.
The girl who would give up time with anyone outside of family to be with family because I realize they won’t be here forever.
The girl who loves emotional attachments as long as I’m not the one emotionally attached.
The girl who isn’t afraid of risks but doesn’t chance anything for fear of failure.
The girl who can’t seem to say no when I’m depended on.
I am all of these things…and id never apologize for being a single one of them
The girl who will openly cry at weddings when I know that the two people are doing the most precious and sacred thing but probably have no idea how intense and serious it is to promise ur love in front of God.
The girl who laughs when things get awkward.
The girl who makes jokes just to see someone smile even if I’m not smiling on the inside.
The girl who lives in a laugh from someone elses throat.
The girl who gets her feelings hurt and skips from sad to pissed.
The girl who would give up time with anyone outside of family to be with family because I realize they won’t be here forever.
The girl who loves emotional attachments as long as I’m not the one emotionally attached.
The girl who isn’t afraid of risks but doesn’t chance anything for fear of failure.
The girl who can’t seem to say no when I’m depended on.
I am all of these things…and id never apologize for being a single one of them
May 21.2011
Really? For real? Seriously?
I don’t doubt SOMETHING will happen on that day. A person will jump out of a window, a thunderstorm will occur, a store will get robbed and yes, MAYBE even an Earthquake in some part of the world (tho i hope not) will probably happen. However, I really don’t think it is judgement day. I mean, how much sense would it make for us to know what is about to happen? Does it not say in the Bible that when that day comes NO man will know? I trust that book more than I trust a human being. I will say, however, that the thought makes me a little nervous. I mean, there isn’t much doubt in my mind that on this particular instance I am right. I mean, people were wrong about 2000, right?I just hope no one does anything crazy thinking, “just in case its the last day,” and end up in a horrible situation on Sunday morning.
I’m not really worried either because there are some things that are supposed to occur before this rapture that has not happened yet. We should also be living like everyday could possibly be judgement day… I haven’t been so I’m not throwing stones but I’m just saying.
I don’t doubt SOMETHING will happen on that day. A person will jump out of a window, a thunderstorm will occur, a store will get robbed and yes, MAYBE even an Earthquake in some part of the world (tho i hope not) will probably happen. However, I really don’t think it is judgement day. I mean, how much sense would it make for us to know what is about to happen? Does it not say in the Bible that when that day comes NO man will know? I trust that book more than I trust a human being. I will say, however, that the thought makes me a little nervous. I mean, there isn’t much doubt in my mind that on this particular instance I am right. I mean, people were wrong about 2000, right?I just hope no one does anything crazy thinking, “just in case its the last day,” and end up in a horrible situation on Sunday morning.
I’m not really worried either because there are some things that are supposed to occur before this rapture that has not happened yet. We should also be living like everyday could possibly be judgement day… I haven’t been so I’m not throwing stones but I’m just saying.
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