Bittersweet

"When I think about you.... it's bittersweet... yes I'll always love you...it's bittersweet. When we were together, you didn't treat me right. Damn I really love you, I ain't gonna lie."-Fantasia

I'm sure everybody feels this way about at least one person in their past. When I heard this song the first time, I had to cry a little bitand I'm not a crier. I have to say my fav. part of this song is :"Must have had a box full of things you gave me, started to throw it out but something always stops me..." then when she said, "Deep inside my heart, I made the right decision but its kinda hard when ya mind is thinking 'did i make a big mistake?'" If that isn't the realest statemet ever??

Bravo to Fantasia for makin me cry, lol. Nobody does that except Gospel and Michael Jackson. This one just hit me kinda hard. smh.

Don't Blame The Rest of The World

Get your shit together! Excuse my language, but people have been really killing me lately. Don't blame other people for you unsuccessful run at life. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I am also a firm believer that there is no gain without pain, no success without struggle, and if you don't put in work, you dont recieve anything. Stop complaining about daddy left and that's why you not sure how to be a father. Get it together. How you gonna put your child through the same thing you went through?

Stop letting your girl take care of you because you too lazy to do for self. And your girl need to stop doing it.
Women, stop sleeping with so many men for fear of being alone. As long as you have SELF and God there is no alone. REspecting and loving yourself will bring the right partner, I believe.

You Just Aren't the One for Him

If you are currently letting your social life dwindle away for a man who makes sure that he has one and ignores you or If you are being cheated on and lied to... I hate to inform you of this BUT...You just aren't the one for him...sorry.

I don't mean to be rude but... You just aren't the one....for his bullshit. MOVE ON! It's hard because we all want people to see what a great woman (or man) we are and they refuse to see it. If they refuse to see what a catch you are, or what a diamond in the rough you are, then its their loss! Clearly you aren't the one (the idiot) that deserves him lol. Clearly he/she is not the King or Queen that deserves you. So he/she isn't the one either lol.

I get out

Sometimes I'm just so damn mad. Born with the ability to love and hating that I can't control it. Hating anything that I can't control at all. Sometimes I feel like somebody has got me in this big ass box and they open the lid just enough for me to get a little hope before they shut me back up in the darkness. Then I'm stuck. Feeling like I got a lot on my chest but my voice isn't big enough to vocalize it beyond this damn lid...So when it finally does escape me, what I say is jumbled into words of hate because all I really wanna say is I love you, I forgive you and I'm sorry for hating you, but instead it comes out as, I don't think...I don't want to... or I can't.

So I jump up, trying to open that lid, bumping my head on the top of it and sacrifice a smooth scalp for a bumpy one only to grow weary. I'm tired of being confined to this box and even more tired of people trying to keep me in it. I'm tired of having to stay within it... I'm tired of confining myself... So, I stoodup and took the lid off.

I get out of all of your boxes.

Don't be sorry, JUST be careful!

who you knock up and who you let knock you up.

I'm concerned that some of us are too quick to give ourselves and aren't thinking about the consequences of our actions. Think about who you're sleeping with! For instance, this dude laying next to you, high as hell, with no job and isn't trying to get a job is cute, but what happens if this night should end with a nine month outcome? So now you take him to court for child support, complain to him that he don't have no job and not trying to get one. You saw that when you slept with him! You are equally to blame! THINK! Fellas, this girl is sexy, but she did show up at my house last week and threaten to stab me, but I'm gonna still sleep with her unprotected. Now she's pregnant with your kid and outside your house, with a big belly threatening to stab you again... GET FOR REAL! Then you wanna call her crazy and leave her. Oh no, don't leave now. You shoulda got the hell on when she was tryna stab you before this happened! You are equally to blame cuz you shoulda knew better.

Don't get me wrong. I think children are gifts from God, but I do think they should be taken seriously. Having children and just "dealing with them when they get here" is not the answer. I just wish people would think about what they are doing because children are innocent in the matter. None of them asked to be born. Step up to the plate and be parents...please?

What am i doing?

I just want to understand what it is that I'm doing right now. I'm hanging in there, but I don't know why. These invisible tears have been falling from my eyes for months now with no clear sign of relief. Feels like an eternity when things just aren't right in your heart or your mind. I can't figure out what I'm doing in this place that was designed to trap me and drain all of my bodily fluids. This chamber beats so hard that I am trapped within it and there is nothing for me to do but beat on its walls, cause more palpitations and hope that I don't die of heartbreak.

How many more times do I have to go through this. This makes attempt 3045860386667870308586 and 4. I've tried to keep my mind steady on things that are above me instead of infront of me. I've been trying to reach up instead of out for so long that I've grown tired of reaching anywhere so I just place my arms by my side.

My head is heavy from holding it up so high that my neck is sore and my eyes are hurt from the sun. Yet I'm afraid. I'm afraid if I look straight ahead instead of up I'll break. This ice chamber will surely shatter if I look down. I've got to keep looking up at the sun. I need this beating distraction to stop icing up and melt but every...time... I look down... there is my beautiful disaster. Waiting to plunge himself into my heart and shatter the very thing that I keep holding on to...

I can't see it coming down my eyes...so... I gotta make this post cry. If crying would take this away I would gladly lie down and do it... I cannot believe this is happening right now.. I gotta keep my head tilted up and rasie my arms up and not out...Reaching and looking forward always makes me fall...smh

Pass me Over

Like Anthony Hamilton says, "If you catch me dreamin', please don't wake me until I'm done, just keep me sleepin, until the morning comes. Just Pass me Over...make believe that I'm not there. Just leave me be..."

I hate when something is happening that I don't want to happen. It's like a car crash and somebody is pushing me to the wreckage...I don't want to see the the casualties, I don't wanna see their injuries or mine, I just want to turn around as those cars collide behind my back and keep walking like I didn't see it. Keep walking like if I didn't see it or it wasn't told to me, it doesn't exist. Just... pass me over...

There will be times when something happens and you just don't want it to happen. You see it happening, but there was nothing you could do to stop it. There was nothing you could say to prevent the "tragedy" from happening so you watched in horror while everything in you screamed and cried for it not to happen... I've been hit with this a few times. One particular instance... when my dad told me my uncle died in a truck accident. I felt like somebody was trying to keep me in a nightmare and I couldn't wake up. no matter what I did, I couldn't get away and there was no one there to help me through that one. So I just... did what I had to, walked through it like I usually did, found somebody to be pissed off at so that I would make it through the day... i say that to say this...sometimes things happen and you can't control them and they are hell to get through. You're just walking into it and your fighting it on the inside but there isn't a damn thing you can do to get around it because whether you like it or not... it's happening. Death is like that...we all know its coming so we kinda drag through life sometimes 'cause we know at some point we will die and then it is happening and there isn't a damn thing for us to do now but have peace...

This relationship I had once was like that. I saw the end happening,couldn't stop it, didn't know how to stop it, and knew that the end was inevitable even though I didn't want it to happen... I drug my feet through it, went through the motions as I fought it like the waves in the ocean... but then... i finally gave in and let the waves drown me and carry me up to shore.. and it was over. Some things have to happen for better things to happen. Endure the pain, bare through the rain, and then enjoy the rainbow and sunshine!