But tonight, where's the vodka? (Moved from Tumblr 2010)

I want to…scream. i want to yell into my head is threatening to pop off my body. I want to cry until I feel better, until my eyes are red and round with tears. I was so close. I want to punch things, kick things, threaten people and even throw my shoes… but what would that fix? I’m not going to do any of those things because they don’t solve anything. I refuse to admit any weaknesses aloud. only typed or printed. So to the outside world, its fuck it. yet inside its so damn close but yet so far away. SMH. Damn can’t things just be simple.. for once? Why do I have to balance and work so hard for everydamn thing? LOL, how spoiled does that sound. Tonight I internally grieve. Tomorrow… fuck that shit. But tonight…where’s the Vodka?